With due respect to the men who passed years ago aboard the Edmund Fitzgerald, I've found that there is always "That Guy." You know the one: the guy who has to do everything the hard way. This is the guy who does not know about technology. He doesn't know that his life, and the lives of those around him, do not need to be affected by his lack of preparation.
So, I thought I'd write some lyrics to the tune of Gordon Lightfoot's,The Wreck of The Edmund Fitzgerald. But this is a redemption story, similar to Dicken's, A Christmas Carol. So, sing it in your head, or out loud if you prefer. It's sea shanty, so maybe a parrot on your shoulder and an eyepatch would be appropriate. Be careful if you choose to bring either with you into the shower.
Cheers to saving "That Guy." Enjoy!
- Barry
-----
The Wreck of the Date with Hot Carol
The legend lives on about a man who drank poor
But was embarrassed for his friends to know it.
The man was so sad, cuz he always drank bad
He’d forget to shop Broudy’s and blow it!
With a hankering for a craft beer and some more
Of the spirits and wines Broudy’s features.
This good man’s friends were born to be sad
When he’d buy from some dive near the beaches.
Broudy’s is the pride of Florida’s east side
They’re better than most
With a staff of experts to help you.
And whether rum or some rye, you know when you buy
That its come from a warehouse well seasoned.
And later at home when dinner is done
Could it be for the Bailey’s you’re jonesin’?
Champagne in a flute makes a tattletale sound
Bubbles add depth to romances
And every man knows, as our poor drinker did, too,
You need Dom to improve on your chances.
The guy had a date and he just couldn’t wait
To get bottles on ice for quick chillin’.
He’d get shopping done but it wouldn’t be fun
In the face of St. Augustine traffic.
When the work whistle blew, the man’s boss came on in, sayin’
Fella, overtime’s callin’
At eleven PM, with the wine still not on ice, he said
Fella, cancel the date with that woman.
The man who drinks poor rarely settles a score
And he knew that his date was in peril
And later that night with no champagne in sight
Came the Wreck of His Date with Hot Carol.
Does anyone know where the love of God goes
When your work turns the minutes to hours?
The smart guys all say the wine would’ve been saved
If he’d used Broudys dot com to buy it.
He might have bought Dom. He might have picked Brut
He might have served Carol whisky and water.
But all that remains are the faces and names
Of dates, Coulda, Shoulda and Oughtta.
The beaches wait, lit by the moon
Their waves wash on the sand so serenely
The inlets and streams are the stuff of men’s dreams
Women like all for date venues
But order online, you’re sure to find
The better drinks that you want are for shipping
And the smart guys know, as the smart guys all go
To Broudys.com to buy what they’re sipping.
In a candle lit room in St. Augustine they cheered
For the guy who once was a loser.
They cheered for the site and they cheered for the guy
Now a Broudys dot com power user.
The legend lives on but the curse is all gone,
The date’s back on with the girl called Hot Carol,
Broudy’s, it’s said, is the place that you’re led
Because Life’s Short and You Should Drink Better.