It’s almost Valentine’s Day. Love is in the air. Birds singing. Expensive dinners but limited menus. Lovers gazing into one another’s eyes. $250 a dozen roses.
Honestly, I am somewhat drawn to the Dark Side of Valentine’s Day. You know, that mischievous window at Victoria’s Secret, the edible undergarments at Spencer’s in the mall, the size of a good lightsabre, and, of course, the many adult beverages seemingly custom made to make my Valentine’s Day…and maybe yours…let’s say, “memorable.”
When I was a kid, Valentine’s Day was mostly about how many cut out cardboard Valentines I received in my elementary school “mailbox.” That glittery combination of construction paper hearts and tin foil on a shoebox, jointly proclaimed my puppy love for Jenny Blaupunkt and my lack of social skills. By the way, Jenny, I will never forgive you for going into my mailbox and taking back your Valentine, just because Tommy Fisher gave you his rubber spider.
Ahhh, those school days. Sometimes, I flash back to the Valentine’s Day of Senior Year in college and those long “study periods” with Molly McKeasy. She has eleven kids now. Her name preceded her, I guess. Clearly, she never heard of Loveblock wines. With flaxen hair, she always was kind of a Blonde Whiskey girl. There were rumors of her occasionally drinking Menage a Trois wines, but those stories were based on that ONE time that Molly was caught with Four Roses (whiskey, I mean) and both Pride and Liberated wines. Hmmph. But enough about Molly. Back to my special day.
As an adult, I am still somewhat traumatized by Valentine’s Day. That’s why I prefer to avoid flowers. I want NOTHING that says commitment. Young Miss Blaupunkt taught me that.
So, on February 13, I roll by the Cobblestone store and snare some Black Magic Spiced Rum and Lindeman’s Gentleman’s Collection wine. I talk big, but my Valentine’s Day date likes both magic and gentlemen, so I intend to provide both. Tomorrow, if we end up with Kinky or X Rated liqueurs, that’s our business.
Imagine my significant other and me, arising to a beach sunrise over the Atlantic on February 14th. So romantic, huh? Let’s be honest; I’ll skip sunrise and go straight to the sweet stuff, like Godiva cordials, because I know that things might get crazy as the day progresses and I need to keep my strength.
My lady friend read “50 Shades of Grey” and I saw the movie, so I’ll make sure to stock the TV tray with Fifty Shades of Grey wines…just in case I get tied up later.
Editor's Note: Barry never does anything without thinking about his customers. That's why you can find every product mentioned above on this website.